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17 April 2007 @ 02:24 pm
Fic: The Ripple Across the Mandala 1/1  
The Ripple Across the Mandala
by lizardbeth_j
Pairing: Sam/Kara
Rating: Adult
Spoilers: Crossroads II, 3.20
Summary: The First Time Kara Saw Sam Again After She Killed Him (the Fifth Time)
w/c: 2800

Well, I'm certainly incapable of resisting the Adorable Puppy Dog Eyes of DOOM!

(and let's face it, after a day like yesterday, there's only so much post-armageddon war story I can write)

So here, for lyssie, referencing her Five Times Kara Thrace Killed Sam Anders. Of course it turned out about a gazillion times longer than the ficlet that inspired it, because brevity may be the soul of wit and all that, but it's NOT my middle name. And dudes and dudettes? unbeta'd. All crappiness is entirely my own fault.

The search for Earth was all-consuming now. Kara pushed herself, and everyone else, but it kept slipping out of her reach. She knew she knew the way, somewhere, somehow, but she was unable to get there. The path was in front of her, but the more she looked for it, the thicker the shadows seemed to lay across it and the farther away it seemed.

She and Lee had given in to the dance for awhile, but it all came down to her destiny. It pissed him off that he couldn't be first in her life -- her destiny was first, Earth was first -- so he broke it off. She tried to regret it, but the fights weren't something she missed at all. Maybe her mother was right; she was better off by herself.

But then, approaching the Ionian Nebula, a Basestar jumped into the system, then another. Kara watched from her Viper in amazement as the second Basestar fired on the first and was destroyed. Not long after, a familiar voice -- Colonel Tigh's -- came over the wireless to the Galactica and every other ship of the fleet: "We, the consensus of the Five, come in peace. And we suggest a truce before the others kill us all."

Colonel Tigh was, of course, confused and infuriated, and he denied being a Cylon, but he willingly confined himself in Sharon's old cell, just in case. As for the known Cylons on board, Sharon and Caprica could only confirm that the Five had taken no part in the attack on the Colonies and then they had gone away. Neither woman had ever known what any of the Five looked like or anything else about them. Even that little seemed very difficult for them to say.

Offer of truce accepted, Kara stood near the Admiral and the president as the Heavy Raider landed on Galactica. Another copy of Tigh was no shock when he emerged, though the return of two eyes was. Then an Eight -- who looked right at Kara and smiled like Boomer -- and a Simon came out and stood on either side of the foot of the ramp, like guards. Last, another Cylon emerged, walked down the ramp, and stepped off to the floor.

He wasn't a total stranger either. Kara didn't know him, but she recognized him: Sam Anders, the former Caprica Buccanneer she'd shot dead back on Caprica. He wasn't wearing a Pyramid uniform, but black pants and a sleeveless shirt that showed off his shoulders and arms in a way that Kara couldn't help but trace with her eyes, even if he was a Cylon.

The surprise was in how their eyes locked, across twenty feet of deck, and he smiled slowly. He recognized her. Unlike the Anders back on Caprica, this one was aware of who and what he was, and he held himself with a confidence that drew other people's eyes, not only hers.

Something flashed across the space between them, and a small kernel of heat lodged itself under her ribs. Her stomach fluttered and she clenched her jaw, trying to make sure none of her reaction appeared on her face. But his eyes seemed to peel away all the bravado and see it all anyway.

The warmth lingered even when he faced Roslin, whose face was pinched with distaste, as though she were drinking poison. "My name is Sam," he said in a voice that traveled across the deck to the farthest corner. "Saul you know. We are the leaders of the Five, the members of the Cylon regime who rejected the plan to attack the Twelve Colonies. We have done as much to help you as we could, with limited resources and allies -- " he nodded toward the Eight on his left. "We've come to you now, because our security arrangements have failed. Some of the more militant of the base models found us and discovered what we've been doing. They've turned against us." He paused and gave a small rueful smile. "I'm sure you're asking yourself why you should care about a Cylon civil war." Roslin acknowledged his point with a small nod and turn of her lips. He answered, turning grim, "First, because if they kill us, you'll all die. The only thing that has been keeping them from destroying you, is us."

Kara wanted to protest that the Humans had protected themselves, but the memory of the fleet's narrow escapes and moments that the Cylons had abruptly turned course, told her it was true. They'd had help from the inside. The admiral had no change of expression, but at his shoulder, Helo nodded once a little, realizing the same thing.

Sam waited for the reactions to his statement to die away, and added, "Second, because we know the way to Earth."

The whisper spread through the deck. Even the guards who should've been keeping their guns trained on the Cylons couldn't stop saying it: "Earth. They know the way." Roslin and Adama put their heads together to murmur to each other.

In all the noise and confusion, Sam's head turned and his eyes found hers again. That small tight coal in her belly burst into flame, heat rising up along her skin to her neck and sliding down between her legs. She tried to tell herself she was crazy -- he was good-looking, but he was a Cylon. But her body didn't care that he was a toaster. Her heart was beating faster and her mouth was cotton. She had to lick her lips, and he watched her, the same heat burning in his eyes.

But it wasn't mere lust. She knew what her own desire felt like and this was something else. This was falling into a whirlpool, being spun about, but drawn irresistibly into the depths. Driving her Viper into a gravity well and shutting off the afterburners and letting the atmosphere take her...

She wanted to glance at Helo and take some reassurance from his steadfast love for a Cylon, but she couldn't look away from Sam.

Did he really know the way to Earth? Could he finally answer the question that had been plaguing her ever since Leoben had awakened something inside her?

Did Sam have the answer, or was he the answer?


The negotiations were difficult, but since no one had expected them to be easy, it seemed not as hard as it might have been. Kara sat in the conference room, across and down the table from Sam. She wanted to sit closer, or farther away, and it was hard to stay focused on the words.

The first thing he did in the room was to stare straight at Tory with a strange intensity. She blinked several times, swayed, and clutched the arms of her chair, and then her eyes opened wide and she stared at Sam. "Oh Gods," she whispered. "This can't be. I'm not..."

"I'm sorry to awaken you so suddenly," he told her in a soft voice, "but President Roslin needs to know that we aren't hiding anything." He addressed the president, "There's another one of us on this ship, but I'll need line of sight to awaken him too."

"And the fifth?" Adama asked. His voice was level, and his expression revealed nothing. But he refused to look at the Tigh sitting next to Sam. Tigh seemed to understand that and remained quiet, letting Sam speak.

Sam shook his head once. "Not within your fleet."

"How can we trust that?" Roslin demanded.

"You can't," he answered bluntly. "I don't really expect you to. But I hope you consider our actions and accept that it's the truth. We've expended considerable effort to preserve your people." He leaned back and his gaze slid across Kara with a near physical touch, to settle on Sharon at her side. "We're not the same as they are. God made us more in your image. When one of us dies the memories are uploaded to the others, so we share experiences, but we don't resurrect. We die. So when the plan formed to destroy the Colonies, we refused to take part."

They died. So when Kara had killed the other Sam on Caprica, his memories had come to this Sam, but he hadn't been reborn in a new body. Samuel T. Anders, Captain of the Caprica Buccanneers, really was dead. It was oddly sad to know that he might have become more like this Sam here, but her hand had ended it. Then she realized that she was feeling pity for a Cylon -- but with Sharon beside her, it didn't feel as wrong as it would have two years ago.

They all continued talking but she tuned most of it out. She watched Sam and her finger traced circles on the top of the table.

They took a break two hours in, and Sam asked politely to visit the head. Of course two guards went with and inside. She followed and ordered the guys, "Outside."

"Captain Thrace?" they were confused.

"Take your posts outside the door. He won't go anywhere." She pointed to the door and didn't lower her hand until they were gone and the door was shut. Then she turned around and Sam was there, watching her. Gods he was at least as tall as Helo, and looked strong enough to pick her up and carry her for miles.

He didn't move or look away from her. She swallowed hard, and had to strain to reach for Starbuck's attitude, not letting him get to her. She grinned. "Aren't you going to go?" she waved toward the stalls and urinals on the other side of the rows of sinks.

He shook his head, his return smile bright with mischief. "I ... lied. I was hoping you would follow me in, Kara."

Starbuck drifted away, unneeded. Kara took two steps closer to him, watching his face. She asked softly, "What is it about you? I don't understand..."

"You know what it is," he murmured, catching her hand in his and pulling her nearer. "Destiny."

A shudder ran through her, as she rose up on her toes as he bent to put his lips on hers. His hands were on her waist, fingers pulling her tight and close against his body. She touched his shoulders, then gripped tightly, and everything within her clenched up in need and want. She slid one hand into his hair at the back of his neck and held his mouth on hers.

I missed this, she thought muzzily, as her mouth opened to him and their lips were bruising each other, This is what I couldn't find.

He pulled off her mouth to kiss her cheek and under her ear, straight for the spot that made her shiver and the fingers of heat dip into her lower belly, making her strain against him. "Kara," he murmured, "Oh Kara. Finally."

He dragged a moan from her, when one hand gripped her hip just under the curve of her ass, fingers pressing on her inner thigh. She squirmed trying to get him to touch her more. She pushed against him, tongue trying to find if Cylons tasted different. They didn't. He stumbled back two paces, dragging her with him, until his back was against the cold metal of the bulkhead.

"What took you so frakking long?" she complained in a whisper.

Their eyes were locked, as she rubbed her aching breasts against his chest. Gods, she could feel he was hard already, and it made her fingers itch with the desire to touch him. Her hands dropped down to his belt and with quick motions, opened it and his pants, plunging her hand inside. When she wrapped her fingers around him, his head went back against the wall, neck cording with the pressure, biting out her name as a long groan, "Kara -- "

"Sam," she said in the same voice, taunting, smirking at the sight of the mighty Cylon with his eyes squeezed shut as she stroked him. He certainly didn't feel like a machine - and he reacted like a human, his breath growing ragged and panting as she coaxed him toward release.

"Not like this," he protested and his eyes popped open. He pushed her hand off him, and turned them around, so her back was against the wall instead. He kissed her face and her neck, down her chest as far as he could, as his hands opened her uniform pants and pushed them down to her ankles. Then his hands went under her thighs and ass, and lifted her, sliding her higher against the wall.

"Oh Gods yes," she kicked off the hanging pants, and wrapped her legs around him to help. It took him two tries to get the angle right, though she couldn't be sorry as his lengh rubbed across her vulva and clit, but then he was pushing inside her, deep and full. "Oh Gods -- " Her hands clutched at his shoulders, like claws, and her back arched, so he was stretching her and she was down on him so hard, he was pressing her clit too. The moan bubbled up from her throat, louder than she meant and raw with want.

From outside, she heard a voice, "Captain? Captain Thrace, is everything okay?"

She bit her lip on a hysterical giggle. She desperately wanted to answer, I'm getting frakked up against the wall by a Cylon, sarge, what do you think? Her eyes met Sam's, as he froze, buried within her.

Clearing her throat, she answered loudly, "I'm fine, Sergeant. We're talking. Out in a couple minutes."

Then she stared into Sam's eyes and whispered, "Hurry up, before they don't care what I say anymore."

He leaned forward to kiss her lips, tenderly and softly, before bowing his head, arms braced against the wall to either side of her and proceeded to frak her hard. Each thrust bumped her against the wall, but she didn't care. After a moment she couldn't even feel it. He was making her all tight and hot, until her attempts to kiss him faltered and she could only close her eyes and bite her lip to keep in the cries that threatened to spill from her. She could feel the sweat in the backs of her knees dripping down her thighs. And he gave her still more, pushing her into that space where sparks formed behind her eyelids and she was tempted to push him off her, as the boiling tension tightened her skin unbearably.

In that moment when she quivered on the edge, she saw it -- the shadows cleared away from the path, and it unspooled before her.

The Path to Earth. Every marker. Every signpost. And at the end, a blue and white planet of aching beauty.

Then Sam's mouth came down hard on hers, and her cries were lost in his throat, as she convulsed and fell apart all around him. And he thrust hard and quick, on the edge himself. He leaned forward so she couldn't move as he shuddered against her, panting in her ear as he came.

A second shiver broke across her and she gasped. Lords of Kobol, she'd never imagined... Cylon or not, she didn't think she could give him up.

They rested there for a few seconds, trying to catch breath and heart back to normal. Then he lifted his head and freed a hand to push back a lock of her hair. "Did you see it?" he asked, surprising her.

She nodded. He smiled. "Me too," he answered. "I knew we would."

He pressed a gentle kiss to forehead, and he murmured, "We'd better clean up and get out there before they start getting suspicious. Saul is trying to cover for us, but it won't last much longer. Someone's going to worry I'm doing bad things to you."

She chuckled and moved her hips a little, to remind him that he was still inside her. "You are. And I can't wait for you to do it again." But he was right. The last thing they needed was for the marines to storm the head and kill him. He pulled back and helped her back down to the floor, steadying her with a hand on her shoulder until her legs felt steady enough to carry her.

Watching him dress, she smiled, suddenly content. No matter what Roslin and Adama might decide, the Fleet would only find Earth if she and Sam were together. She had found the missing piece of her destiny at last.

Tags: , ,
Current Music: Depeche Mode - Only When I Lose Myself
weissmanweissman on April 17th, 2007 09:34 pm (UTC)
Pretty Cool, I really liked it!

lizardbeth: Helo-Sharon fanficlizardbeth_j on April 18th, 2007 03:47 am (UTC)
pataka02: Kara and Sam LDYB 2pataka02 on April 17th, 2007 10:36 pm (UTC)
Absolutely wonderful. So much of the "Sam is a Cylon" fic is about how he isn't right for Kara anymore, how maybe his love for her is just computer programming, and you completely changed that, turning it into her destiny to be with him... and made me extremely happy in the process. They're so freakin' hot.

Amazing job!
lizardbeth: Kara-Anders - staylizardbeth_j on April 18th, 2007 03:54 am (UTC)
thanks! yeah, I tend to see the programming and the destiny thing as going hand-in-hand actually, since in order for him to be programmed to love her (or even be interested), he has to be a part of her destiny. Otherwise, how could anyone have programmed him? It's not like anyone could have predicted Kara would go back to Caprica and find him, unless destiny/fate/whatever could bring them together.

But definitely this is the flip side of that, because she aborted her destiny by killing him on Caprica.

Plus, y'know, the porn!

entertaining in a disturbing way: Kara Anders Get Drunk and Screwlyssie on April 17th, 2007 11:30 pm (UTC)
*cackles gleefully*

I did not give you puppy-dog eyes! They were more like bambibunnyeyes.

And my request for fluff got me wallporn. How awesome is THAT? *gleeful*

Sam Anders is Kara Thrace's destiny. How frakkin' cool is that? And together, they make the road to Earth. *giggles*

Porn in the bathroom. And the marines almost got a free show!

lizardbeth: Lee - frak!lizardbeth_j on April 18th, 2007 03:59 am (UTC)
baby dogs, baby deer. Whatever. *g*

Glad you liked. And somehow fluff often becomes porn. I wonder why that is....

Imagine how surprised Dad Adama would have been, if he'd walked in? *chortle*
entertaining in a disturbing way: Anders sweetlyssie on April 18th, 2007 04:06 am (UTC)

Adama's eyebrows raise and a sigh escapes him. "Kara. Haven't I told you not to frak your husband in the head? In fact, I seem to recall making it an order after the last time the nuggets couldn't shower after their training."


"Kara. I assume you have an explanation for frakking the enemy?"


The Admiral stared at the sight before him for a moment, then he turned and walked back out of the head. To the marine on the right, he snapped, "When they're done, I want them escorted back." And maybe later, he'd throw them both in the brig--in seperate cells. Possibly on opposite sides of his ship.
Kelly...It's like Jello with a K and a Y: [bsg] miss you. k/acenterspire on April 18th, 2007 01:00 am (UTC)
Ni-ice. We should all write porn based on lyssie's Five Times! Hmmm...plot formulating...
entertaining in a disturbing waylyssie on April 18th, 2007 01:51 am (UTC)
lizardbeth: Anders - Leelizardbeth_j on April 18th, 2007 04:01 am (UTC)

I see you got no objections to your suggestion! *g* *sits and waits, rubbing hands in glee*
mamaboolj on April 18th, 2007 04:09 pm (UTC)
I like this a lot - and not just the porn part either. Although that was very hot ;)

Really, I like how you've built from lyssie as well as ideas you introduced in your own previous fics (thinking here of the connection between sex and understanding from your ShAgathon fic).
lizardbeth: Anders Thudlizardbeth_j on April 18th, 2007 06:02 pm (UTC)
thanks! especially for the liking the non-porn part. heh. There's a much longer story buried in all of that, that really wanted out, but I resisted.

Which of course means it's going to come back and bite me in a few months, just like, yes, you're totally right the ShAgathon fic returned here. Clearly Cylon!Sam is getting a bit pushy for a long story of his own, thankyouverymuch, but he's going to have to wait a while. There's never enough time for all my writing ideas... *sigh*
hoolia goolia: Fab Four cylonsboom_queen on April 21st, 2007 04:21 am (UTC)
Wow, I really like this premise. I'm still spinning all the possibilities in my head of Kara's reaction to Sam as a cylon, but idea of a shared connection that enables them to find Earth is awesome.
lizardbeth: Anders - shirtlizardbeth_j on April 21st, 2007 05:41 am (UTC)
thanks! Obviously this is an AU, so her reaction can't really be this one (she's either going to come back knowing, or he's going to keep it a secret and there will be much ANGST *g*), but yeah, I'm quite taken with the idea that they need each other to find Earth.

And your icon is most cool.
Deborah: Kara/Leoben hands by _veroniquedeborah_judge on May 17th, 2011 11:30 am (UTC)
Oh, this is delicious. I really like this Sam.
lizardbeth: Anders- Demetriuslizardbeth_j on May 17th, 2011 11:39 pm (UTC)
*reads fic again to remember which one this is*

ooooh, I should write Cylon Ambassador Sam again. UNF. :)

Deborah: Kara/Leoben hands by _veroniquedeborah_judge on May 17th, 2011 11:48 pm (UTC)
I should write Cylon Ambassador Sam again.

I totally approve of this. Unf indeed.
Gramma Lunacylanalucy on December 11th, 2013 11:23 pm (UTC)
This Kara/Sam I could handle. Makes much more sense than what we got in canon.

Loved it.