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29 June 2009 @ 02:16 pm
BSG Fic: Alone, Together  
Pairing: Sam/Lee (background K/S and a bit of K/L)
Rating: ADULT (for some boy on boy sexytimes and angst. What? you were expecting fluff?)
Wordcount 3400
Spoilers: Finale
Summary: On New Earth, Sam and Lee discover they can be alone, together. But fate will out, in the end. (AU)

Note: Inspired by bsg_pornbattle prompt "without" which isn't saying a lot, since it was my own prompt. Clearly I've had it in the back of my brain for awhile. There are many, many things I should've been working on instead of this, so we'll just pretend I was, okay?

Lee never knows what Kara said to Sam before she vanished. He does know that Sam didn't move from the spot for almost a day, and when Lee goes to make sure he's okay, there's something in his eyes that wasn't there before. Lee can't figure out if he's broken or just the opposite; Kara had the same eyes when she left that day he lost her in the gas giant.

Lee keeps putting off his planned treks into the wild, hanging around, drawn by something he can't name. Sam demonstrates to a group of Cylons how to kill and butcher one of the small hoofed creatures that gather near camp. When Lee asks how he knows, Sam shrugs, "We had to hunt deer in the mountains. One of the survivalists in the group taught us. I'm just passing it along." He teaches other skills learned while on the run from Cylons: at first only Cylons listen, but soon others gather in, to learn how to make fire without matches and how to build animal traps.

One evening, Sam is sitting alone on the hill that overlooks camp when Lee wanders up. "Cubit for your thoughts?"

Sam waved a hand to the grass nearby and waits until Lee's sitting down before he murmurs, "I used to sit on the beach and look at the stars on Earth."

Strange to be reminded of Sam's Earth life as a Cylon after he's been doing nothing but reliving the resistance, and Lee wonders if there's even more sense of disconnect for Sam, or if it's all just a single frakked-up life for him. But he doesn't feel like he can ask. So Lee just prompts, "And?"

"Nothing," Sam shrugs. "It's just funny how I always end up sitting outside, looking at the stars." Then he sighs and adds lightly, "Except the booze and cigarettes are all gone."

"I'm pretty sure the Tighs got the still working already," Lee tells him.

"That doesn't surprise me," Sam adds dryly, and Lee recalls that he knew them before.

"How do you deal with it?" Lee asks abruptly. "Finding out you had this whole other you?"

Sam shrugs. "It's all me. I know physics and music and computers and how to throw a pyramid ball. It was worse before I remembered, actually-- when I thought I was a Cylon like them." He nods toward where there's a Six on the far ridge. "Now I know the truth. It helps."

Lee shakes his head, finding it hard to imagine having his entire sense of self yanked out from under him, twice, on top of losing Kara again. "I'm pretty sure I'd be so frakked up by all that, you'd be picking up pieces of me all over the place."

Sam reaches for a piece of grass and rolls it on his leg, as if his fingers need the motion of making a cigarette even if he's not smoking it. "You do what you have to do. You're a survivor, too, Lee. We both are, or why the hell are we still here?"

"Luck?" Lee suggests.

"Luck?" Sam repeats, incredulous, and laughs, for the first time since they came here. Since Kara vanished the first time, maybe, since Lee can't remember him laughing at all those painful months she was gone, or the worse months after she came back.

Lee doesn't think his joke's that funny, but then again, he hasn't been at the mercy of the gods as much as Sam has either.

But pleased with the success of his joke, he watches Sam laugh, how it brightens his eyes, and Lee can't help smiling back.

* * *

About a month later, Lee's coming off watch -- there are some big damn predators around -- and he hears soft female voices in the Cylons' tent and then Sam's voice raised in protest. Frowning Lee gets closer and listens. Sam sounds annoyed, "You need to give up this pure Cylon race crap. It's over, all right? It's gone. The Cylon race lives in the Centurions, not in us."

A Six says, "We're just asking you to try. We know it's possible because of Caprica's child, and you're free-- "

"No. Get off, this isn't what I'm here for. Let me go!" The tent shakes and moments later, Sam barrels out of the tent. He stops in the moonlight, shaking his head and takes a deep breath. He realizes Lee is there and tries to smile.

"Problems?" Lee asks.

"They want me to frak them."

Lee's taken aback by the blunt statement at first, then realizes that's the tent where all the unattached Cylon women stay. "All of them?" Lee asks, both amused and impressed.

Now Sam smiles more truly, realizing the humor in it. "Yeah, all of them, though they'd settle for one. They think I can father a child on them. They're really... persistent," he adds, but his face says it's not funny anymore. Lee wonders how often he's had to fend them off since settlement.

Spontaneously, Lee offers, "I'm heading off to check out that mountain tomorrow. You want to come and get away from them for awhile? I could use the company." He's surprised how much he means the offer, and how much he's come to like Sam in the past weeks that Kara hasn't been between them.

Sam glances at the tent and answers with amusing eagerness, "Hell, yes."

The next day they head out with a few supplies and they're soon beyond the boundaries anyone's hiked so far. Sam's quiet and stops frequently to look closely at plants and birds, and Lee remembers he was a scientist in a former life.

"So what are you here for?" Lee asks when they stop for water.

Sam grunts sourly and gnaws his dried meat. "Not Cylon babies, that's for damn sure."

"You seem ... okay with the end of your people," Lee observes. He doesn't want to hurt him, but he's curious about Sam's reluctance to even try to keep the Cylons going.

"They ended a long time ago," Sam answers with a distant look, and Lee remembers he's one of five survivors of old Earth. Lee can't fathom that, not really, to be one of five survivors. One of fifty thousand was bad enough.

Sam goes on, quietly, "I tried to make them again, tried to create myself some new people, and made a monster. I'm not passing that legacy on. Time to stop the wheel from turning again."

He picks up the pace, leaving the words behind, and Lee hurries to catch up.

They find a hot spring the next day, steam curling lazily above the clear surface of the pool. It smells of minerals and a hint of sulfur. Sam drops a fruit in first, to see if it'll cook. When it doesn't, Lee takes off his boots to dip a foot and see how hot it is. It's no different from a hot bath. By the time he turns around, Sam is stripping his clothes and wading in. The water's up to his thighs, and Lee averts his eyes upward, even though Sam obviously doesn't care if he looks.

"Sam!" Lee objects. "It could have venomous fish, or weird bacteria, or --"

Sam just laughs. "You want to frakking live forever, Apollo?" And he dives in the water.

For a moment, the echo of Kara is so strong it makes his heart clench. Sam echoed her before, when she was gone that first time, training as a Viper pilot, taking her rack...

Sam surfaces, hair dark from the water and water droplets glimmering on all that tanned skin. "Come on, you big baby," he calls. "Even on Caprica you must've learned to swim."

"Gods, you're exactly the same," Lee mutters, but he can't help shaking his head. Feeling weirdly self-conscious, he waits to strip until Sam dives under again, and wades into the water. It is, actually, amazingly pleasant, even though he's still concerned about parasites and other nasty things that could be in here.

Sam splashes him in the face. "Lighten up, Leland."

Lee winces, and Sam grins at him so mockingly Lee has no choice but kick water at him. Sam might not really be from Picon, but he swims like a fish anyway and manages to dunk Lee by pulling his ankles from under the water.

Lee tries to retaliate, grabbing him to push him down. Sam seems to be enjoying himself; like Kara, he's enough in the moment, he doesn't care about anything else. But it reminds Lee of trying to get Sam back to his rack, when he was so drunk he could barely walk. In between attempts to pick a fight with him, Sam's hands had wandered all over him, trying to get close to Kara however he could. Lee had stopped him then when there was Dee to think about -- he's not sure he can, this time. Now he's a little too aware of the skin beneath his hands, how his leg brushes Sam's, the feel of the muscles of his shoulders and arms as they wrestle.

He tries again to dunk him, pushing on Sam's shoulders, but he's like a frakking tree, solid and immovable, and Lee figures out Sam's standing on the bottom, the frakker. Then Lee's grip slips, and his foot slides down - chest and then belly, leg. And frak, is that -? Is he?

Lee has to look. They're both hard.

They both freeze, incontrovertible proof that their not-quite-innocent water play has become something not innocent at all.

The moment hangs, their eyes lock, and Lee knows he should move back, laugh, pretend it's just one of those things, accidental arousal because of the warm water and touching. But he doesn't. He tries to remind himself Sam's a Cylon, and that means nothing at all. They're both survivors, they're both so alone it's unbearable, and he's just so damn tired of denying himself things he wants.

Sam moves first, leaning forward to kiss him. He tastes like the water and his lips are warm, but the touch of his hand on the back of Lee's neck makes him shiver. He doesn't kiss like Kara, though - he kisses like he has nothing else on his mind except Lee and kissing him thoroughly.

His hands start exploring Lee, big hands on his shoulders and chest and clasping his hips, fingers tight on his ass to bring him tight against his upper leg. Lee shudders again when he realizes that's Sam's erection trapped between them, and he can't let go of Sam's shoulders for anything.

It's not entirely the heat of the water making Lee light-headed, and he pushes back to catch his breath. "Okay, I admit, I'd go back to Caprica for that, too."

Sam chuckles, a little dryly. "Benefits of being older than I look, and not very picky when I was a player."

"Picky?" Lee snorts. "I read stories. Anybody you didn't frak?"

"Thought you didn't like pyramid," Sam mutters and bends his head to suck at Lee's neck. Lee wriggles against him, and the feel of his own cock rubbing on the hair of Sam's thigh is a maddening tease.

"Don't," Lee answers shortly. "But Dad liked the Panthers, so I rooted for the Bucs. Just to piss him off."

Sam shakes his head, returning his mouth to Lee's, maybe to keep him quiet, maybe to distract him from thoughts of losing Dad.

But Lee's distracting himself. He takes his chance to slide a hand between them, down Sam's broad chest and stomach, to wrap his hand around the erection trapped between their bellies. Lee's not that experienced, not like Sam, but he's done this part before, and not just to himself either.

Sam inhales sharply at the touch and his nails dig into Lee, pulling him reflexively closer, but Lee elbows him back to have room to pull on him. His skin is so frakking soft, but he's hard and hot beneath that, as Lee strokes him. He lets his thumb wander over the tip, making Sam swear at him, until he returns to the rhythm.

Then abruptly it stiffens more and his body jerks, as his back arches helplessly to push his cock into Lee's tight grip. It's hard to see in the water, but he can feel the difference under his hand, and he makes sure to finish Sam off with a few more twisting strokes, until he lets out a long breath and relaxes.

He snaps back alert in a moment and seems re-energized as he pushes Lee toward the shore. "Back, Lee. I'm too frakking old to do this holding my breath."

Lee doesn't get what he's saying until Sam's got him lying on the bank, naked, with his erection jutting upward. Sam crouches over him and without saying another word, bends down to take the head of Lee's cock between his lips, sucking gently. Lee's breath gets stuck in his chest, and he tries to thrust deeper, but Sam backs off with an evil chortle. Sam's tongue licks him - swirling around the head, long strokes on the underside - until he aches, while his hands on his hips keep Lee from rising upward.

"Oh gods, Sam, oh gods, yes," Lee pleads hoarsely, head tipping back while his hands clutch at the grass beneath him. "Don't -- don't make me wait."

He doesn't, not too long, mouth slipping over him again - hot and close, taking him inside. His lips are tight, head bobbing up and down his shaft, until it's too much. The heat pulses outward so hard he can feel it in his fingertips. It shakes him, but Gods, it's good.

When Sam releases him, he crawls up to flop down at his side. When Lee kisses him, he can taste himself. "That... was great," he murmurs. "Thanks."

"My pleasure," Sam retorts, but seems too lazy to banter more than that.

"I never thought this would happen," Lee admits, gazing up at the trees overhanging the pool.

"No?" Sam asks. "Funny, I thought it would from the day we met. I just always figured Kara would be there, too."

"I...don't think she'd mind," Lee offers, after a moment.

Sam chuckles, surprising him. "You kidding me? She's watching."

Lee feels like that should motivate him to find his clothes, but he doesn't move, and neither does Sam. It's quiet and peaceful, and they're alone. It's too perfect to break yet. After a little while, Lee starts to kiss him all over, slowly getting to know this body laid out before him. The only part he avoids is the scars on the back of Sam's neck, scared to think how close that bullet came to taking him away.

Lee doesn't think it's entirely his imagination that he feels Kara there, just out of sight, watching them.

* * *

They spend a week there, the hot spring as their base. The hunting's easy, there's fruit for the picking, and the big predators aren't around, plus the swimming is too nice to leave. They end up exploring each other a whole lot more than the mountain. But then a group of the ugliest animals Lee's ever seen move in. They don't seem to care about the people, but they're noisy and smelly, and it's time to go back.

Coming down off the mountain, Lee wonders what everyone's going to think of their new relationship. But Sam doesn't seem concerned, brushing off his attempts to talk about it. "Don't overthink it, Adama. Just take it for what it is."

"And what is it?" Lee challenges. "What is this, Sam? A quick frak in the woods, or something deeper?" He's a little scared how much he wants the answer to be the second. He tells himself how stupid it is, falling hard -- again -- for someone who's in love with someone else. It doesn't help.

Sam thinks about it. "An idyll," he answers finally, which is more than Lee fears, but less than he wants. "A time we could shed the weight of the past and remember who we really are. I feel... I'm ready for what comes next. What about you?"

Nodding slowly, Lee has to agree. He's energized -- by exploring, by finding new creatures, by seeing what this world has to offer, but most of all, by finding more than he expected in his hiking companion.

They're approaching the camp on one of the ridges, when they spy the Agathons down in the valley below, picking reeds. Karl and Sharon wave and Hera starts running toward them, grinning happily and calling for them to see something she made of flowers.

Abruptly Sam takes off, rushing down the slope, and for a moment Lee thinks he's running to catch her. Except he has his knife in his hand, as if he sees some danger.

The giant cat rises out of the reeds. It's got teeth as long as Lee's hand, and claws like razors, and it's going after Hera.

Hera screams, high-pitched as a red alert siren, as Sam tackles it. Whip-fast and supple as a snake, it turns on him, snarling. It must be Cylon strength, because there is no frakking way he can hold on otherwise, as Sam wrestles it to the ground.

He's a big man, but the cat is bigger and heavier. Lee sees it claw him on the shoulder, in its effort to get free. But Sam stabs it in the neck, again and again, trying to pierce the tough hide and sever its spine. It finally falls limp. He stays there for a moment, on his knees above the cat's body, and it looks like he won.

Then Sam crumples backward, knife tumbling from his hand.

"Oh gods, no," Lee whispers in dismay as he reaches Sam. The cat's fangs tore into his side, ribs to pelvis, and there's blood soaking into the long grass. Lee knows the wound is mortal as he kneels down. Sam's fingers are already cold in Lee's grip and he futilely tries to warm them between his hands.

Sharon and Karl run up. Karl has Hera in his arms while Sharon's got her gun pointing at the cat. They stare down at Sam - Hera with those unnerving quiet eyes that see more than she tells, and the other two with the same horrified dismay that Lee feels.

Sam's eyes flick to Hera to check that she's okay, and then to Lee's face. Sam's expression shows no fear or surprise, and Lee has the feeling he's known all along.

Sam answers the silent question, between panting breaths, "Kara told me."

Lee doesn't understand what he means. Kara told him he was going to die saving Hera? Or she just told him to stay? Or -- gods, what the frak difference does it make? He's dying.

Lee clutches his hand and shakes his head in desperate denial. "You can't leave me, too. Sam, please--"

"Sorry," he whispers. "But 's finally ... my time. Meet us... on the other side."

Then he pulls at Lee's hand, and Lee lets him go.

The instant they're not touching anymore, Sam smiles very faintly. His eyes reflect the exact same blue as the sky, as he looks past Lee's shoulder, at something behind him. Sam murmurs, "Kara says hi."

Lee turns his head, looking for her, wondering. But there's nothing there.

When he turns back, there's only bent amber grass and a stain of crimson blood on the ground. Sam's gone.

Lee reaches out as if Sam somehow turned invisible, but his fingers find only the grass.

His gaze lifts to meet Helo's, who looks stunned. But Hera's smiling happily, as though this is exactly what's supposed to happen.

The sight helps Lee understand. Sam stayed to save Hera -- the shape of the past sacrificing to save the future, one last time. But then, like Kara, he was done. Lee has no doubt that they're together again, finally at peace with themselves and each other. Which is good to think about, but doesn't help the ache inside, realizing he's alone again.

The breeze on his face and his hair for a moment could be their hands, touching him in farewell, and a bit of promise.

Later, it seems to say.

Lee nods slowly, reluctant but accepting. He can wait.

He picks up Sam's knife and accepts Sharon's hand to help him to his feet. Together they return to the settlement to report this latest loss.

He glances back toward the mountain and knows it'll be a long time before he goes that way again.

Merry F: samuel andersivanolix on June 30th, 2009 12:13 am (UTC)
*flails, sniffling* I'm just—I can't believe you did this to me! (Can't believe you posted it to the pornbattle either, because this is so not about the porn...it's twenty times more than that.)

Everything that happens—it's heartbreakingly believable, both for the characters and for the universe. Lee always watches everyone die; he never goes first. Sam is always giving himself up, living in the moment not because he thinks like that, but because he thinks about forever and part of that is enjoying certain moments.

The relationship development, and the power of the ending, almost made me forget the hilarity of the tent of unattached Cylon women. I almost choked laughing, because that's exactly what they would do, and exactly what the response would be. Oh dear...
lizardbeth: Anders - Leelizardbeth_j on June 30th, 2009 05:04 am (UTC)
aw, thank you. It's one of those things that's been lurking for awhile as a post-DB AU (plus I've always wanted to get Sam and Lee naked together, I cannot tell a lie. *g*)

and heh, the Cylon tent seemed VERY plausible if Sam was there, but Kara was not...
(Deleted comment)
lizardbeth: Anders - Leelizardbeth_j on June 30th, 2009 05:09 am (UTC)
yes, Sam and Lee seemed to get along okay, when Kara wasn't there. So it was interesting to think about what might push that to the next level.

cujoy on June 30th, 2009 01:51 am (UTC)
Oh bravo! That was quite moving and sad along with the hotness. I wish they'd had some more interaction in season 4.0.
lizardbeth: Anders - Leelizardbeth_j on June 30th, 2009 05:20 am (UTC)
thanks! There was just no way it could end happily. :(

Yeah, me too. Though Sam probably would've been all squirrelly and weird, like the rest of the Four at the time. Lee did give us Sam in Dress Grays though, so there's that!
isla_verdadisla_verdad on June 30th, 2009 02:45 am (UTC)
Very nice, I liked the realness of their relationship at the hot spring as well as the otherworldliness of Sam's destiny. I also have a very serious wanking kink (as my own entry in the porn battle will attest) so I love Lee's ahem, "experience" in that regard too. :)
lizardbeth: Anders - Leelizardbeth_j on June 30th, 2009 05:21 am (UTC)
thank you!

And I'm glad to, erm, help out! :P
peccadillo4: gunpeccadillo4 on June 30th, 2009 09:28 pm (UTC)
Normally I'd be angry with an author that kills Sam, but it was done in such a way here that I know that it isn't the END of Sam, just the death. Does that make sense?

Either way, Very good story!
lizardbeth: Anders - gunlizardbeth_j on July 1st, 2009 03:39 am (UTC)
It makes total sense, because that's it, exactly. It's more a change of location, to the "other side", than an ending. Cuz, well, I don't like the idea of Sam just ending, in canon or otherwise!

Thank you!
queenofthracequeenofthrace on July 1st, 2009 04:56 am (UTC)
NOOOOOO! Character death makes OueenofThrace sad! Then again...Lee/Sam hotness makes QueenofThrace happy, and is in fact the reason she got an LJ in the first place.--especially when it's written like this! *swoons*

Okay, I'm gonna call this a win :D

(and stop talking in LJ third person)
lizardbeth: Anders - Leelizardbeth_j on July 1st, 2009 05:43 am (UTC)

Really? Lee/Sam got you to LJ? hee. That's awesome. :)
entertaining in a disturbing way: Anders sweetlyssie on July 2nd, 2009 11:40 pm (UTC)
I like how even though it is all Sam'n'Lee pornin', it IS ALL ABOUT THE OTP in a way, too. *giggles*
lizardbeth: Anders - greylizardbeth_j on July 4th, 2009 12:50 am (UTC)
It is, indeed.

And yay, no defriending over Sam's demise. ;P
entertaining in a disturbing waylyssie on July 4th, 2009 06:34 am (UTC)
That would be kinda silly to defriend over, 'specially since I'm sure I've killed him at least once.
lily_virginialily_virginia on July 13th, 2009 10:44 pm (UTC)
GORGEOUS!!! All of it. I actually bought Sam/Lee for once! Lovely, lovely...
lizardbeth: Anders - Leelizardbeth_j on July 14th, 2009 05:50 am (UTC)
Thank you! It's a fabulously hot pairing in theory, but yeah, in practice, it's hard to pull off (i've tried twice before, and had to go to GEN both times, since the boys adamantly refused to get naked *g*). So I'm glad it worked for you! :)