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12 March 2008 @ 12:00 pm
life is hard... therefore, PICSPAM!  
I had to go trawl through all the OMG SO FUCKING PRETTY BSG photo archives last night and some free time this morning. I got distracted (OFTEN), but I was looking for promo pics of Doral and Simon. And why, you might ask, do I want pics of the two least used Cylons? Because I want to make a banner of all the cylons, and it's not easy to find decent photos of those two. I might use the source I made this one from just because he has such a good bitch-face, but it's nice to have some options. (also, I am lazy and didn't want to make screencaps)

Too bad both actors are both so criminally under-used on the show. Pimp-daddy Doral could be a whole lot scarier. (hey, my half-baked fan-love for Matthew Bennett won me a cup from Katee Sackhoff, remember? He gets infinite points for that).

Now if only I could put an animated gif in the middle of my banner and rotate through the usual suspects for the Final Cylon. heh.

So, let's picspam some cylons! In my own crack-addled way. :D

THE CYLON FAMILY!





Once upon a time in Cylon-land....

"You may be taller and bigger and fancier, kiddo, but I'm tired of how you don't clean up after yourself or do the dishes. I think I'll make some other models who will do as they're told."
"But Mo-ooomm!"
"QUIET!" *zap*




(hilarious and awesome art by Richard Livingston, the BSG concept artist - other work at Galactica.tv)

So, after sending junior to his room (and reprogramming him to be obedient), Mom decides to make some human-looking ones to infiltrate the enemy. She starts (maybe) with this one:



Now, he's kind of cute, but he doesn't infiltrate secretly worth a DAMN. Always gives himself away in about a week. Plus his programming tends to get stuck so he obsesses about things. So Mom decides to try again.

Ah, now THAT works much better. One to cater to the humans' superstition and in an old-looking skin, so the humans never look past the surface and the other two in really hot human skin, so again, the humans never look past the surface.


This one is useful for basic missions and enforcing discipline, thought he tends to get caught.


One of Mom Cylon's favorite pictures in the family album. Everyone looks happy. It's one of the few pictures she has of her grand-daughter, before she went back to her mother, the One We Don't Talk About. *sigh*


She really MEANT to fix the coding for Five's taste in clothing, but never quite got around to it. But that's what happens when you're the middle child - sometimes moms forget these things.

Then there was Simon. Mom spends a lot of time and effort to send him to human medical school, so he could make some human-cylon hybrids. Which he totally failed at, so she sent most of the Simons to their room. Later he couldn't even treat the Poptart, and she was very annoyed at him. Good thing he does what he's told and isn't a rebel, or she'd pack the entire model off to boarding school forever.



But you know, this one -- Mom has started to wonder if there's a flaw in the program. Sometimes Six does what she's told, but sometimes she refuses and does her own thing. It's SO frustrating! (also, my most favorite picture of Six EVER!!)


But Six isn't even the most rebellious of them. Three started out so promising, but like her big brother, she also appears to have a small flaw, making her absolutely crazy and unpredictable. Mom keeps this picture to remind her of happier times. *wipes tear*

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Mom decides that all of them are just petulant teenagers. And Mom misses her babies, so she makes some new ones and hides them away, in case their big brothers and sisters get all jealous the new (better, more-loved) siblings and try to kill them. It's like a Greek Tragedy!

The younger ones always get more freedom and fewer chores to do. She thinks they might be a BIT spoiled, and they might resist when she wants to rein them in a bit, but hopefully they'll realize how much she loves them. She sent them away for their own good. Really.



There's also one more, but Mom Cylon keeps that one close. The youngest, y'know, is always the most protected baby of the family.

THE END!






It's the most dysfunctional family in the galaxy!
 
 
 
entertaining in a disturbing waylyssie on March 13th, 2008 12:04 am (UTC)
*giggles with glee* Ah loooove you.
lizardbeth: trucco-backlizardbeth_j on March 13th, 2008 04:18 am (UTC)
I am very very silly, I know. But I had to do something with all the crazy Cylon pictures I was gathering, didn't I? :D
Allison: Trucco-Smilefrolicndetour on March 13th, 2008 02:11 am (UTC)
The guy who plays Doral is a great subtle actor. And apparently there's at least one very scary scene with him that'll be on the DVDs.

*dies laughing at the whole thing*
lizardbeth: trucco-backlizardbeth_j on March 13th, 2008 04:17 am (UTC)
oh yes, I've seen a bit of it, if it's the scene I'm thinking you're talking about. (vague enough? hee) But yeah, I've been a fan of his since I caught an old episode of Cold Squad (ironically, for another actor). He has a whole subplot in an episode of basically what he does with Baltar in the scene above. It's so good. That's what convinced me he could do so much more than they give him on BSG. (and why I have now chased him into his new show MVP which is this HORRIBLE hockey soap opera that is complete crack).

Glad you enjoyed the silly! :D
[wisconjinackal]: ear rape!eisenkreis on March 13th, 2008 05:33 am (UTC)
You remind me that I really, really need to finish my Simon-based Farm fic. x_x One of those annoying cases of having an ending and no 'middle' in sight.

Agh. Agh. aaaagh.

Damn yooou.
lizardbeth: Doral - humanslizardbeth_j on March 13th, 2008 05:40 pm (UTC)
poor Simon really doesn't get enough love. Finish, finish, finish! :D
[wisconjinackal]: False Pretenseseisenkreis on March 13th, 2008 06:48 pm (UTC)
If you wanna read what I've got so far I could honestly use some ideas as input-- otherwise I may not have a prayer of ever finishing this bitch. XD;
lizardbeth: Many copieslizardbeth_j on March 13th, 2008 06:55 pm (UTC)
sure! lizardbeth_j AT livejournal.com I'm doing a Farm-based fic myself (where Sam's the one captured, instead of Kara), so it'll be interesting to see someone else's take on it.
[wisconjinackal]: <3 <3eisenkreis on March 13th, 2008 07:11 pm (UTC)
Sent o/'
lizardbethlizardbeth_j on March 13th, 2008 08:42 pm (UTC)
'k I have waited an hour and unless your fic has something to do with making 25,000 from home and/or enlarging myself, I didn't get it. LJ sometimes does that. I might get it eventually, but here, try the more direct addy:

lizardbeths_tale AT yahoo.com
[wisconjinackal]eisenkreis on March 13th, 2008 10:05 pm (UTC)
Done and done
Mayhem Parva: (starpollo) viper roam BSGraincitygirl on March 22nd, 2008 04:06 am (UTC)
I can't believe I didn't comment on this before. So, so, SO hilarious.
noybusiness: lolcatbsgnoybusiness on October 30th, 2009 05:51 pm (UTC)
Hilarious in retrospect.